i permit you to call me
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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