i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
