? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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