We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
