Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
