we have officially lost it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
