We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize