I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
