ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
