The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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