Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I want to fling myself into the sun
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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