Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
