hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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