I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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