Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
