Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
