Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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