Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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