he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
