Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
