We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
