You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
