5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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