I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
