guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
