so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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