do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
