So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
