i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
