i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
