I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
