Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
