Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
