Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
