chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
