doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
