Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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