and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize