I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
