Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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