ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
