I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
