I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
