Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
