sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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