i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
