Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
