My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
They have beer where we have blood.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
