The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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