We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
