The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
