Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
And then my night got REAL pukey
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
