im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize